4 Simple Ways to Re-Ignite Your Marriage

Remember when the two of you first started out? You couldn’t get enough of each other and spent all of your off time together. Chances are you took wild adventures, had lazy evenings on the couch snuggled up and watching movies, and had plenty of opportunities to remind one another just how much you loved them. Then one day, some 5 – 10 years later, you wake up and wonder if you even know your partner anymore.

Life is hectic. While marriage starts out hot and heavy for most people, it is difficult and unrealistic to expect to keep up this behavior and emotion long term. It does in fact, take work. With the collision of jobs, life stresses, children and other responsibilities you may be like one of the millions who sometimes feels like they are married to a stranger. Luckily, there are some pretty simple things you can do every day that will help reignite the passion and love in your marriage. And most of them, take very little time at all.

1. Kiss your partner. In an independent study, researchers found that 3 out of 4 married couples, who have made it to the 7-year anniversary, rarely kiss each other on a daily basis. And yet a kiss is one of the simplest and most expressive ways to show someone you care. In fact, researchers have also found that when spouses kiss one another, their blood pressure is lowered and that endorphins (pleasure hormones) are released even if the kiss is not ‘sexually driven.’ Additionally, reinforcing the fact that you love someone by showing him or her physical attention is important in a relationship. If you never reach out to hug or kiss your spouse anymore, the relationship is likely suffering and can be quickly and easily improved. Many couples just get ‘used’ to the non-kissing part of the relationship and almost forget how important it is. Greet your spouse with a kiss every time you see them. Even if it feels awkward at first, it will be a meaningful and important reminder of just how much you love them.

2. Talk! In marriage, it becomes par for the course to talk about everything except each other. And part of talking, perhaps the most important part, is listening! Couples often feel a major disconnect because the stress of life doesn’t give them an opportunity to sit quietly and talk to one another as they used to. Ask questions, show interest in each other’s day, and be empathetic in your listening. Even if the conversations are small and about things you may consider silly, these conversations are essential to long-term happiness. In fact, many couples on the brink of divorce admit that they no longer know how to talk to their spouse anymore, or feel that their spouse takes an interest in them at all. If you have children, then make sure that they respect mom and dad time, and that the two of you take time out DAILY to chat about your day.

3. Be a team! Often what brings couples to the alter in the first place, is the fact that they work so well together. Then, what ends up separating them throughout the years is that they begin working better apart. Start a household project together, join a dance class where the two of you can learn to dance, get on an adult softball team. Sign up for a local warrior competition, start training for a marathon or even begin doing the grocery shopping as a team. The ideas are limitless. But often, when the two of you put your minds and bodies together (in ways other than sex) you are able to become reacquainted with one another’s strengths and reignite your passion for each other.

4. Do simple and free things that let your partner know you are thinking of them. Cook their favorite dinner. Send them a racy (or sweet) text message during the day. Help out with chores. Do one little thing every day that shows your partner you know who they are and what they like in their life. Really, it’s easy to provide your partner with one simple reminder per day that says, I love you!